Gray Fray

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Gray Fray

war-in-my-mind

As we’ve learned from the deep study of our Neural System, Gray(Grey) matter is responsible for the seeing,hearing, memory, emotions, speech, decision – making and self-control (Well, that’s how I can see how many people have less of this amazing matter).

It’s no less than a war how the emotions , decisions ,self-control  all these struggle in our minds everyday. I sometimes just wish that the grey-matter had some common sense in itself to separate one emotion from the other or if it just went white so that many issues would be solved in quiet and peace.

Most of us go through a lot of mental strain everyday. We get upset if someone speaks rudely, we get angry at someone’s behavior towards us – it might not mean to hurt us still there is an emotion involved, we get hurt of what they have thought of us , we shout, we laugh, we cry, we ignore and sometimes we don’t have an emotion attached to it.  Is it so necessary to emote ? What if I choose not to react or not to emote ?

Well, to be emotional isn’t a bad thing at all – I would say it takes a lot to be able to express yourself and show exactly how you feel . But if you do not know how to channel this massive emotion from everyday that’s where you end up in real fray(war) in your minds (as the title of my post goes) with multiple emotions and reactions.

I personally am a very emotional and sensitive person. It is very important for me to express what and how I feel about anything. Even if I’m upset with a thing my husband says or does I need to let it out and let him know that I’m upset with his words and I want him not to say it again the next time (oh! And he never remembers not to repeat troubling me even if it’s turned into a warning and this talk-warn-talk is a cycle that never ends for us. Well – what’s life without a little spice 😉) . Well, the fact that I do not care if he repeats and I keep telling him that I’m pretty mad at him is important for me else this emotional war in my mind would never stop and I cannot move on (Well that’s me pretty much with everything 😉 )

Talking of the other way round – it takes a lot of time for my husband to express what he actually feels. I would need to understand – by his way of reactions and a series of expressions that he is upset with me or wait for a few days until he says about what I’ve said that’s been troubling him for days. If I cannot figure it out, the emotion ends after a couple of days and he’s back to his normal behavior. (Oh please! Don’t even think that it just got over in a couple of days. This issue is going to come back after 3/6 months tying up to some other huge thing he’s upset about and which he finally tells me 😛). I may not be true here but I think most of the men choose to ignore and avoid a situation and not talk about it or over analyze the situation and struggle in their heads  rather than resolving it by being upfront like most of the women do. Women need their partners to understand that they’re upset and they need someone  to talk to about this where as men choose to be with themselves think it through (or over analyze whatever) and get over it !

We need to understand each others emotions, channel them properly if that’s an unnecessary one and find  way to let them flow in the right direction so that they don’t collide and create an explosion in our brains that will last forever. As I understand , each of us is brought up in a different environment and are exposed to different situations (be it family, finance anything). Hence the way we understand people’s emotions or thoughts is different for each of us. Among st all this if we learn to channel our emotions properly, try to know what should matter / what should not , understand each other or find someone to talk to the war might not last long.

We need to train the grey to differentiate black and white and through this training we find out that there are many ways of looking at a problem, handling it and resolving it. Who knows you may even find the darker Fifty Shades of Grey too!!

And as Ronald Reagan says –

Peace is not absence of conflict, it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means.”
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Wedlock Medley

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As we know the debate over a love marriage or an arranged marriage is everlasting . Choosing the right partner should be the ultimate choice over the kind of marriage . How do you know if your partner is right remains a huge question specially if you’ve got married the conventional way.

Finding the right partner takes a lot of effort (searching the matrimonial websites and contacting the marriage bureaus regularly, talking to relatives for alliances,talking to the guys parents and striking off the already taken ones off the list, etc) and patience (paying a deaf ear to the constant questioning like “Aren’t you searching matches for your girl?”, “How old is she? Isn’t it too late – get her married” , “Once you cross 30 years you cannot find the right match”, “Won’t you want to get settled before your father retires – relieve him of burden?”)

3 years after I started working , I began the man hunt as finally I was prepared for a lifetime commitment. It took me six months of heated arguments and a year and half of mental stress to find my man. I would specially like to mention here that when you go through this painful process of finding the right guy you get to meet all possible weird ones – People specially of my language “Telugu” (I love my traditions and cultures though) have this typical passion for going to USA and expect the woman they would be marrying to quit their careers and fly along with them – Oh and this includes the expectations from the girls parents too (as I already had my visa and an opportunity to work there this had never been a problem for me but my question still remains what’s wrong in girls just wanting to settle down in India where her career is as equally important?) ; They send their parents to evaluate the to-be-wife as they cannot fly down all the way from USA (well brother you need to decide if its you who’s getting married or your parents ) ; The dowry is directly proportional to the number of years they’ve stayed in USA or the amount of salary he earns (Talk to my Hand man. Period.).

So after several years of intense interaction with every kind of weird person, I learnt to analyse people from observations, list down pros and Cons of their qualities (literally and figuratively), and finally get a picture of what I want from my partner. I wanted a person who would support my career (I have always wanted to work , build a career and excel so I didn’t want to quit just because of some commitment) , let me be the very cheerful person I am (not customize me) and not have my earning as a barrier/ego factor for him.

Well, when I spoke to my  husband then (on Skype for the first time – yes you heard it right and he was way better in live than in the pictures) it was easy for me to get along from the first sentence we spoke. The foremost question I asked him was , “What are your expectations from me as a partner ?”. The reply straight out was “Nothing” . All the other people I spoke to before had a set of conditions or expectations – to look after their parents, their career and my support but a straight out “None” kind of impressed me.We talked for three days  (the longest screening time I could get from my parents) before we decided that it was okay for us to get engaged. I noticed that he was way contrary to me – introvert, loved his alone time the most of everything, had selective friends and a small family .

Though we were a medley of “Intro-Extro”vert we found each other perfect for us. We were never the long late night calls couple nor did we have the cute talks for days nor did we have the fairly tale way of proposal of love (I need to be honest that this scared me a little and I kept myself busy with work not to care much about this and trying to understand his nature and also that he was busy with his new job and shifting).

Finally the D – Day came soon and when he flew down for our wedding, I noticed that he was the same way with his parents – didn’t talk much in person or on phone ( That’s how you would understand little things – observation and a little interest in knowing that person instead of jumping to conclusions ). Slowly I started seeing his confession of love towards me through the  things he did out of his comfort zone – dancing on our sangeet (for such a bad dancer he is ), posing up with me for the camera ( which he hates the most) and little other stuff that only I could notice , I was ensured that I did find the right person for me. We tied the knot and I moved to Atlanta, GA, USA after 3 months  (Finally when I could find a project at the same place as his – this is a completely different story I will share later) .

During the initial days , we traveled every weekend , explored new places, talked a lot, argued and disagreed on many things. That’s when we both realized that liking a person and living with a person are two entirely different things and it takes a lot of effort, patience, adjustment and acceptance to make a relation work.  When things were just getting smooth,the nuisance strikes in and I now had to decide whether to take up a new project in a different state or continue to wait in Atlanta and move back to India if I couldn’t find a new project.

Quit or Take was the choice I had and finally when I spoke to the Mister about this his reaction was – “Why are you even thinking of quitting as an option? Just go ahead and take up the new project ,we can always manage our marriage.”

For a moment I was startled – I had always been a career oriented person , I always wanted to work . I had seen my mom, aunt and all the women in my family work their entire life and I was just like them. Despite my passion to work I could think of quitting it as an option and for him to support , help me grow in my career and push me to never give it up was such a colossal point he thought for me. And that moment  I fell for him 🙂 It was always the thing I looked for in my partner and he spoke that without even me saying it.

Its been a year we have been apart because of our careers and during these two years of our togetherness he inspired me to

  • Make decisions on my own (for those who know me , they know how bad I’m at making decisions)
  • Learn to drive – be independent of him (which I feel is very rare in Indian men to make their women independent of them) considering the fact that I never drove in India and have a road fear.
  • Enjoy my “Me-Time” , stay healthy and keep myself occupied whenever I feel low
  • Move on during difficult times and find a solution to every problem we face and enjoy every moment as it comes.

Isn’t that is what you call soul mates or as they say “Made for Each Other”. Till date he supports me with every decision I make, my career , our marriage , long distance relation and our love and I have turned out to be a much stronger and independent woman than I was.

One moment is all it takes to realize that all those arguments and differences are all worth when your partner stands by you in your passion and makes  the bond  you share even more beautiful. The Goal in Marriage is not to think alike but to think together. Being from a musical family , I say that we are two different notes and strings but when played together give out the best medley (tune) ever.

And as Nicholas Sparks Says –

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Relationships…!!!

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There are days when you suddenly stop doing what you love. May be I was in the process of finding a life to live and earn, tackle multiple situations simultaneously or handle long distance relation  – whatever the reason may be, It’s been long that I’ve got back to writing and be myself. Those little things during some days make you feel like writing or start over again putting behind your routine struggles.

It was just another routine morning and a message popped up into my inbox from one of my girls. We usually share stuff that has a social impact or feminist content in it. This was different – it was the title that caught my attention “Relationships Are Not Easy But They’re Worth It”.

Now that was something like a hint for me as it has been half a year that I have moved away from my husband because of work and it felt like an advice to my naive long distance relation survival. The article had much in detail on how relationships work and how we handle them. I would like to share my views on this.

All my life, I’ve seen my grand parents, parents, uncles, aunts, friends, all the couples fight/disagree on many things, have a completely different opinion on everything or are just two different human beings with nothing in common.

As a child I never used to understand on the very first place why they disagree or get into a fight and it always amused me how they just hung on to each other regardless of what they’re or have.  Later on when I was old enough and started to interact with my brother I knew we could just fight over anything and now I completely accept the fact that its healthy to fight sometimes.

Relationships are an integral part of our lives. Sometimes you just feel you need someone to take care of you, someone to pamper you, someone to just listen to you and someone to give you happiness and joy. Relationships need not be just friends/family – it could also be human. Relationships do not work magically . You need to make them work. You need to respect each others opinions despite your disagreement. You need to get into the other persons’ shoes to actually feel what they’re struggling for and what are their opinions. Through all this struggle you learn how to adjust, share, be part of other’s happiness, sacrifice little things out of love and feel blessed to see how many people care for you.

As this beautiful quote goes –

“The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and richness to life that nothing else can bring.” —Oscar Wilde

 

We are Family….!!!

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Family – a word used by all and understood by few. Some may quote family as love, affection and an inseparable bond but to some it might be just a responsibility or pain . Well, as to me it had always been about beautiful bonding, values and relationships . Another long post of this blog – here it goes.

Being from a joint family (both paternal and maternal side) , I was always surrounded by people – a lot of people. Both my parents being employees I was a lot pampered by my Atta and Babai who were still studying then and had a lot of time to take care of me ☺️☺️ Well I must say , unlike these days where most of the parents love to have their kids stuck to themselves, my parents had the trust in the family that they would take better care of me and did not find it uncomfortable that I was brought up by the whole family.

For we kids then, holidays were family gatherings , attending family functions , getting to know the extended family and friends and play dirty in the summer sun with cousins and neighborhood children.  To me summer holidays were all fun with cousins around and unlimited family gossip ;). It was less technology and more people and relations.

I still remember we all children were treated equally no matter whose kids we were. There were days when I was yelled at by my uncles and aunts and my cousins were yelled at by my parents 😛 😀 (We deserved it for all those mischievous things we did or put them in trouble sometimes with our stupid acts)  but never felt bad about it (I always saw it as they treating us as their own kids)

We were all together a single family with whatever conflicts or discrepancies we had. We never parted ways or cut down on affections even through differences of opinion. I know how my uncles and aunts(both paternal and maternal) supported and stood by me through all my tough times. I never had to hide any problem of mine from my parents for always my family stood by me.

It definitely takes a list like my previous post to thank many people for whatever life I’m enjoying today.

Amma – well, one needs no reason to thank their mother. She definitely needs to be thanked for bearing all your mood swings at every point of time. Thank you Amma for all the support, love and affection on me. For handling all my psycho mood swings 😜😜 tolerating my work frustration that I always took out on you, for all the awesome advice in every situation and above all being my best friend . 😊😊

Nanna- the least understood person of the family is always the father. Just thank him because the pocket-money your mother gives you is from him, for all the things your mom buys the man standing behind is him, for all that you’re educated today it’s cause of him and for all that you’re today it’s cause of his scoldings and discipline that let you distinguish what is right and what is wrong…!!! Thank you Nanna for the great person you’re, for the great father you’re and for all you did to keep the entire family together.

Sai – Well its a special feeling having a sibling and that too someone who knows all your secrets and still keeps them 😛 Well, no matter how much we may fight like cats and dogs, yell and hit each other, pull each others hair, argue over just nothing and do not look into each other’s face over a silly fight – we still share a fantastic bond and always each others best buddies. Yo Bro..!! Thank you for keeping all my little secrets , supporting me in all those arguments with Amma and Nanna and taking up all responsibility whenever needed.  “Our paths may change as life goes along , but the bond between us always remains strong” – Miss you Sai…!!!

Atta and Babai – I guess they were more of my parents than actually my mom and dad were. I remember my mom hitting me at times for the stupid things I did but never ever both of you. As far as I know, I was and will always be their first child 😊😊 . Thank you atta and Babai for all the love and pampering . (I’m still pampered , a different issue though😜😜) . Thank you Babai for being my hero at all my crisis and my official Financial Adviser 😛 ;). Thank you Atta for being my adviser on personal front and thanks to both for all that time you took to make my marriage a dream wedding . I’m really happy that Mavayyagaru and Pinni also stood by me for every occasion and make it happen.

All my Mavvayas and Attayas – the four pair pillars . Well without you all my family is incomplete. All of you meant more than my parents to me. My home has always been more at your place than mine. All the family outings, gatherings , fun, pj’s , family gossips, celebrations what not everything was so much fun and values learnt were because of you. The tasty dishes you cook for us, the chai time pakodas and bajjis, Diwali, Sankranthi every festival has been more fun and looked forward only because of you people. Everything you did for me I know I was considered your child and never your sister’s child. Thanks for all the support in every little thing of my life and especially with my marriage all the love and respect has just grown even more. Never was it like you were my relatives it was always a family. Thanks for teaching me that.

Cousins – Friends are forever but Cousins are for life. I can never imagine my life without you people. You were more than being friends / siblings. Just a Thanks would not be enough for all you did to me. Well you may have best friends but when your cousin turns into one nothing like it.

There’s this special cousin who definitely needs a mention “Baachi” – I know a Thank You isn’t enough but still a huge Thanks from the bottom of my heart for always being there through all my downfalls, supporting me and advising me the correct way in every situation, I guess you’re the only person who knows how to what runs through my mind and we can just get what we’re thinking even without talking to each other 😀 I miss those days where we would just gather over a weekend and crack a few B grade jokes and make fun of the family and just lazy out or comment over a movie/TV show. The best kind of holidays ever . “Thank You” for being there  🙂

Buddies Anna – Thank You for all the unconditional love. Ideally you’re my elder brother , as I know you’re the first child to my mom  😀 😀 (She loves you more than me and that makes me jealous :@ 😛 ) . A huge thank you for standing by me and taking my side in all my bad times. Supporting me in all ways and helping me with career advises. I guess any number of thank you’s would fall short. But i would say, I enjoyed being your little Sister ..:) :* “Much Love”

Santhu, Singi, Badri – These little kids are a packet of “Patakhas” , they just bring me few years down the age and we join together to make all the mischief and get into trouble 😛 Thank you for always making me laugh and smile .

Devi, Geeta , Siva, Vani – Thank you guys for always being amazing. You were always the best sisters and brothers I could get. Thanks for being more than siblings. You were the first friends I got from my childhood. You’re always special and loved to the core . :*

Geetanjali – Well if your distant cousin turns your bestie nothing like it. Girls love it when they meet someone off beat yet match their frequency. I have never imagined that the girl i met/talked to hardly would become my best friend and cousin. (Oka phone call, oka meetup, oka trip naa jeevitam lo inta drastic effect teeskostundanukole 😛 ). Do not go by her innocent looks and her soft tone, a devil and a split personality exists behind 😉 (U may refer to “Aditya” – her husband if needed :D). In a very short span of time  we grew very close and probably after Baachi in the family she knows me really well. Thanks for being so lovable and my “Gyaan Goddess”  :P, for all the constant lectures, practical scenario explanations and decision-making activities  😀 😛 I miss our threesome( You me Baachi) phone conversations and whatsapp talks.I wish those wonderful 5 days of your marriage come back and we can have awesome fun as always. We rock Akkaa  😛 Neeku Thanks cheppalanna chaala variety ga undi 😛 Lyt teesko 😉 Jokes apart love you loads and lots :* ❤

Finally,

Husband (Balaji) – In a very simple way I would like to say that Thanks for being my family and though you may not replace them you always try to be the whole family above and show much care and support. You’ve always been there with my career decisions, every mischief I do and all my laziness 😀 😛 In a very short time of 6 months you understood me the best and stuck on to me in all my worst case scenarios 😛 😀 Much love and More love to you and I know we don’t need a Thank You in our bond :*  ❤

Many things may change, we grow up, grow apart but we start and end with the Family. Family is not an Important thing, it’s everything. Love your family, Spend time with them, Never have regrets because in the end, family is all we have.

Yeh Dosti…!!!

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Dharam and Amitabh said “Todenge Dum magar  … tera saath na chodenge ” .. Pran said “Yaari hai meri imaan mera yaar meri zindagi” John, PC and Abhishek said “Jaane Kyun Dil Jantha Hai Tu Hai Toh, I’ll Be Alright”. Well the list may never end and Nostalgia would be incomplete without friends – the extended family…!!!

Might be the longest blog page I’ve written until now but every word of it is from my heart and I wouldn’t miss any word of it for anything. The summary of the most loved people of my life. I’m being a bit heavy but trust me the heaviness carried is worth it.. Priceless..!! 🙂 ❤

Aaru:  An evening as I was walking down the lane from my home and suddenly I meet my cousin at the end of the street with her best friend. I still remember that formal conversation which I had with them that included only an introduction to her friend “Aarati” a Hello and a Bye. How she wishes till date that I had not said a Hi to her on that day and she wouldn’t have to drive me for all my shopping and nonsense and find a crazy me.. 😀 .. Ha-ha… But there you go “Aarati Challa” you’ve no option now…!! For all the crap you’ve bared with me, for all the tears you stood up for me, for every moment and situation in my family you’ve been with me… I can only define you as my sister, soul-mate, best friend, family … Well She’s my person and will always be. My life would have been a messy mess if it were not for you at all times, with your constant lecturing and wise talks and the amount of craziness and all the other best friends of ours into my life..!! I miss you and Love you. 🙂 <3…!!!

Shru: The transformer beauty of mine, love of my life. Our friendship is the perfect example for “Never give up on someone who kept you from giving up on yourself.” The craziest friendship story till date I suppose. We met–turned up besties…  A silence… just a warm call from her and we turn up besties as before… Just as much as the Silence never happened… And you know ryt Shru 😉 The first person I give a call when I feel lonely… The first person I talk to about all shit… My Bitching mate… My saga listener… The list goes on… Nothing like having you by my side. You’re the pillar that always stood by me in all times and handled my Massiness…: P For all the things you did to me,I ‘ve no words but only Love and lots of Love.. ❤ u… And I hope we be neighbors soon.. 🙂 :*

Spoorthi: More than a friend was always a lil sissy of mine… My responsibility… a friend who always listened to me and my suggestions…  😛 (Unlike the above two where I listen ..;) :D).. Well this sweet li’l doll has always been the best neighbor I had and the one who’s house I used to just jump in and grab all the food and did all I wanted to. I know how many times I bumped into her house to pull her out from it to keep her everlasting love story alive… ^_^ :D.. I always had her family secrets and love secrets: P Well Spoo you owe me a treat for all the times I got you outta house for you to meet Amol …: P I would definitely help your daughter also out of the house to meet her love…: D <3. That bestie who always hanged out with me though Aaru ditched us: P My costly shopper friend… Brand freak… I know how much you miss me in hangouts and so do I… ❤ u for everything li’l doll:*

Satabdi: My Bong friend, my darlingg friend, my true friend, my chaddi buddy. Satabdi you’re the bestesttt friend of mine and will always be. From School Annual days to the Sangeeth Dances and my marriage you’ve always been an important part of my family. I feel lucky to have you in everything I do. I miss talking to you and being your neighbor. We would perfectly fall into this quote: “True friends are those who we don’t talk too or see every day but when we do see and talk to them it’s like you never went without talking and you always know you can count on them no matter what happens “. Love you sweetheart… Hamesha.. 🙂

Soumy: Darlingg… I love you for all your wise advices, shopping tips, style trends and most of all for our tricky Scooty rides. I miss panipuri and Activa rides with you Soumy:* you are that friend who has a perfect partner for all her craziness and make a perfect Couple. Love you sweetie. :* for all the craziness we share. ❤

Srilatha:  With you I realized there can be friends for a life time at work. You’ve always listened to all my personal crap, bared my work dramaz and prepped me up for all the meetings and stuff: P. You’re that person who just *knows* what I’m thinking without even having to say it. You’ve never judged me but have been the perfect partner when being an absolute bitch about people, DJ’s and all mischievous stuff on the Lunch table.. Work has been easier and you’ve always been my elder sissy in everything. I miss the chai break, the gossip, the bitching and working as a developer for your project ..: P Sri a big hug and Thanks for being my Family at and beyond work always.. :*

Manasa (Raaja): I have no words to describe this bond. The thoughts we share, the things we think of, the kind of lives we have, the similar type of Husbands we have: D: P everything is the same for you and me always.  We shared a 12 hour at work every day and you definitely know how much I miss you because you travel in the same boat…: D. We were always those friends  who complimented each other’s outfits, talked about stuff that isn’t work related, been mean to each other and always forgiven, been each other’s official photographer, walking companion. You’re exactly like my tea – I can’t live without. I miss our Telugu item songs playlist and bus journeys in the mornings and evenings, STC strolls, Shopping mart samosas and movie dialogue counters at the same exact time. You’re my reflection and I will always have you… <3:* Raaja, I miss you in every inch here.

My Colony Gang – Madhan, Chidrup, Amol, Kaushik – You’re perfect example that a Girl and a Guy can be best friends. Thanks for every bit of being my family, taking responsibility, and help me have fun and everything I wanted to do as a single girl – late night walks, birthday celebrations everything. There’s nothing that you’ve not done for me when I asked. And I know you had to take all the scoldings and tantrums from me for not doing things the way I wanted. : P I miss the wall jumps at midnight, Gang Adda at my flat’s staircase (at my home when no one’s there ;)), commenting on every damn thing we saw and the Sangeeth Practices. I loved being Baaaaaaaaa rather than the pretty doll of the gang. I miss u all Baaa… Love you <3…!!!

One of the most important things in life is Friends. There are days you love them, and others you don’t. But, in the end, they’re the people you always come back to. Sometimes it’s a chance that you’ve got them and sometimes it’s the one you make for yourself.

Yaadein …

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“Ummed.. Udaan. Shuruat ” – A Nostalgia of many memories and tales of many beautiful things and people in my life and I pen down here a few of them .

I still recollect those days when there was nothing in my life except work and four hours of sleep. This continued for six months and those were the days when I didn’t care how I looked like or how I went to work and what I ate, but one person did -“Amma” (My mom as I call her).

Family – Like they say you choose your friends but your Family is a chance. The one who has created the most beautiful things around you has created the most beautiful and worthwhile people for you which sums up to your family and everyone shares a special bond with their Mother in it. So do I. I believe that “You are what your mother is” and had it not been for her I would have not been the person that I am today.

Initially when I started working, the days were cozy with lots of Masti, gossip and Chai (Ah..!! My mom makes the best one). Few days’ later work took over the gossip, loud laughs and eventually a greater part of my life. Chasing your dreams usually means loss of something valuable in your life and it takes years to realize what you’ve lost – the precious moments the joyful times you’ve spent with friends and family.There were times when i stayed back in office not caring what went on at home or when I was at home all I did was open my laptop and get back to work ,the sad part – on weekends too (Dude I would’ve been a millionaire with the pay for my overtime and weekends but all this extra effort was Charity 😛 : D) .I almost forgot there was a world around me.

For a period of time, the house was in a deep silence even with all of us at home and I never realized it or should I say Amma made it sure that I never realize it. It took me months to get over the silence (or maybe I’m still getting over – umm not sure: D) at home.

After that strenuous six months, I was very happy to get back to my normal life and hear those noises and crowds I have missed. And oh yeah, my hard work did pay though through a lot of recognition, acknowledgement and appreciation mails and perks but nothing could give me more happiness than getting back to my family, my crazy friends, and the Chai.. 😀

Thank you so much Amma for all the struggle and hard work you had to put up with me but were never appreciated for. You deserve a lot more recognition and appreciation than I do for all the pain you took to handle every mood swing of mine. Yes, it’s no easy being a mother and I am lucky to have one who understands every inch of my mood untold. Hence proved “Matru Devo Bhava”: P – Mother is above everything… Even above God.

Well, Life has to go on (wahi tho mera blog title hain after all 😛 )and so I continued to move on with my work, this time trying to make it much better with a li’l fun and lotsa new friends in it.

A new beginning, a new calendar date, a new belief – A belief that Life would be much better from now on and much worthier than before. What’s important is that we never stop believing we can have a new beginning. But it’s also important to remember that amid all the crap are a few things really worth holding on to.

Ummeed .. Udaan aur Shuruaat

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I’ve always wanted to put  my thoughts to words and feel free to dive
into the freedom of expression. However I was always confused on What
to write and where to begin. And finally after I moved from India to
THE U.S.A , I decided to write about my journey from being a carefree,
noisy hyderabadi to matured responsible adult who had to move away
from family and friends and build a life in a strange unknown land.

Yes, there might have been numerous blogs on the subject but like
people say its a director’s cut its my story told my way .as the
saying goes  meri kahani meri zubani(the true hyderabadi is me is
still alive n kicking. wer else wud i get such one liners  )

AMERICA.. the dream home for everyone. “Oh! How I wish I was there in
USA.”, “I just want to have all the freedom in the world”, “I wish if
nobody questions when I come home , whom I meet, how long I stay late
“, “Oh!! I just love the way they look, I wish I could shop and wear
what I want” … The wishes the many dreams associated with this
beautiful country are never ending. I was one among those who wished
for an independent, carefree , fantasy life here in USA.

Well, this is how it all started…

I always had it in my mind that I would definitely be here after my
Grad. Blame it on fate or destiny, I couldnt make it and had joined an
Indian MNC to move along with my career. The hope striked again when I
had got my work Visa and this time I knew that I’m not gonna give up
on this Country and I will be here One day. USA .. Here I come.. said
my mind and heart. The destiny/fate as I call it definitely has its
role to play on things. I had my visa but no position/vacancy to fly
here. It was frustrating, irritating and it took all my patience to
wait for the right opportunity to be here.
You have a plan but I believe God umm Fate or umm may be destiny..
name it whatever u want to, has a different plan for you. While I
waited for my opportunity all of a sudden from nowhere I find a
stranger whom my parents wanted me to see, speak to him and after hell
lot of discussions bond with him for a life time. Yes and I did get
married to this stranger(not any more)in a proper authentic South
Indian traditional wedding.

But this time I had my destiny work the way I wanted and my husband
works here at USA. Have I touched Gold? Ah-Uh not yet. Well when you
get all you want the easy way, there’s no more fun and excitement to
your life and especially with mine. I always thought , God never
wanted my life to be simple , easy, happy-go-lucky with no confusions.
He always retains that extra little spice, tangy flavour in it with
all excitement. I would have loved it if I just had my husband work at
the place I would work but that’s not planned. I left the client I had
been working with for years and I started a new client hunt as I had a
location constraint. it took me 3 months to find the right opportunity
and this phase of my life well I could say was like a nightmare. The
echoes of my yelling, irritation, frustration and the hell lot of
fights at home to vent out my anger still move in a frame in front of
my eyes. All I could feel was a sense of achievement, after not giving
up and getting the hell out of me finally I could make it here to live
with my husband leaving behind my own little world I’ve built with
people who always loved me and I loved.

A stitch in time saves Nine.The early bird catches the worm. We’ve
heard these proverbs from our parents, teachers and grandparents,
warning us about the wasted time. But sometimes seeing for ourselves
and making our own mistakes, We learn our own lessons.As Benjamin
Franklin rightly said :

That knowing, is better than wondering. That waking, is better than
sleeping. And that even the biggest failure, even the worst, most
intractable mistake, beats the hell out of never trying.